Leadership Skills – Lesson 8


questionCan you and the other person identify a mutual goal? How can you go about doing that?
How can you help the other person feel safe talking to you?
What are some things that could happen if you and this person do not sit down and talk things through?


Seven Steps to Ironing Things Out

1) Remove all masks. No conflict can be resolved unless people are sincere about making things work out.

2) Identify the real problem. Often the real problem lurks somewhere underneath the apparent problem. For example, Jaime says he has a problem with the schedule, when in actual fact he feels he is doing more than his fair share of the work.

3) Communicate in a manner certain to be received. Communication is the ultimate tool for positive possibilities. You must listen, and clarify that you understand the other person. Then you can tell your story, in such a way that they understand where you are coming from.

4) Give up a must win attitude. You could go to the wall defending your position, yet never truly win. No conflict can ever be considered resolved if one party wants to get even someday.

5) Develop several possible solutions. Most situations can go in a variety of ways if enough time is given to finding possibilities.

6) Evaluate options and select a solution. It is easier to move from identifying options to evaluating which approach will work best. It may seem simplistic but when you can choose the best, most workable choice for both sides, you are more apt to have a sustainable solution.

7) Acknowledge and preserve the value of the relationship. Resolving conflict is about preserving relationships. Otherwise we wouldn’t try to resolve disputes. One of the key benefits of having a process for ironing things out is that the parties involved have a greater chance of maintaining the relationship.